You are enough. It’s not your fault.
Three years ago, I started journaling…
Not because anyone told me to. Not as part of some structured therapy exercise. Just me, sitting with thoughts that had been buried for 48 years, finally allowed to surface after my ADHD diagnosis.
The journal entries started connecting. Patterns emerged. What began as processing my own grief grew into something bigger – a book about what late diagnosis actually means.
Not the polished “ADHD is my superpower” narrative you see on Instagram. The real stuff. The messy, uncomfortable, brutally honest truth about discovering your brain works differently – and always has.
What This Book Is About
“Adult ADHD: From Grief to Growth” is the book I wish someone had handed me when I was diagnosed at 48.
It’s about:
The Diagnosis Moment
When everything clicks and falls apart simultaneously. When your entire life suddenly makes sense in the worst possible way.
The Grief
Looking back at every failure, every “lazy” comment, every relationship that struggled, every career setback – and realizing it wasn’t your fault. It was undiagnosed ADHD.
The Anger
Understanding how much harder everything was than it needed to be. How many years you spent compensating without knowing what you were compensating for.
The Confusion
Learning your brain works differently. Unlearning decades of shame. Figuring out who you actually are beneath the masking.
The Reframing
Seeing that ADHD didn’t just create struggles. It shaped strengths. Crisis management. Pattern recognition. Empathy. The ability to thrive in chaos.
The Permission
To stop trying to be “normal.” To build a life that works with your actual operating system, not against it.
What’s Inside
The book is structured in three parts, mirroring the journey most of us take after late diagnosis:
Part 1: Looking Back
- The diagnosis moment (mine started with my son)
- What ADHD actually is (spoiler: not what you think)
- Childhood memories that suddenly make horrifying sense
- The intersection of trauma, genetics, and development
- The exhaustion of masking without realizing you were masking
- The friendship confusion – why social connections felt so hard
Part 2: Understanding Now
- How ADHD shaped education and career paths
- Leadership with ADHD (the good, the bad, the ugly)
- Relationships and emotional dysregulation
- The practical reality of managing ADHD in high-stakes environments
Part 3: Building Forward
- Systems that actually work for ADHD brains
- The RAISE framework (Recognise, Accept, Implement, Systemise, Execute)
- Giving yourself permission to optimise for what matters to YOU
- Moving forward without dwelling on what could have been
Plus: A bonus chapter on AI assistance and ADHD (yes, Claude helped me write this book – and I’m not ashamed of that)
Why I Wrote This
I’ve spent the last three months reliving every painful moment of my childhood, career, and relationships through an ADHD lens.
Every chapter forced me to sit with shame I’d carried for decades. Every section made me confront the version of myself that might have existed if I’d known sooner.
It’s been brutal. And necessary. And weirdly freeing.
Because here’s what I learned: I’m not broken. I never was.
Different wiring. Different trade-offs. But not broken.
And if you’re reading this because you were recently diagnosed, or you suspect you might have ADHD, or you’re trying to understand someone who does:
You’re not broken either.
You are enough. It’s not your fault.
Those are the six words I desperately needed to hear at 48. Six words that took me months to truly believe. Six words that became the subtitle of this book.
When It’s Coming
I’m launching on Amazon KDP (both Kindle and paperback) before Christmas 2025.
This book ties directly into my RAISE Your Game programme – the 6-week group coaching experience where 35+ late-diagnosed ADHD men in leadership are already working through this journey together.
The book gives you the understanding. The RAISE programme gives you the implementation.
But the book stands alone. You don’t need the programme to benefit from it. You just need to be ready to look at your life through a new lens.
Who This Book Is For
You should read this if:
- You were diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and you’re feeling all the feelings
- You suspect you might have ADHD but haven’t been assessed yet
- You’re supporting someone with late-diagnosed ADHD and want to understand what they’re going through
- You’re curious what late diagnosis actually looks like beyond the clinical descriptions
- You’ve spent your whole life feeling like you’re working twice as hard to appear “normal”
- You’ve been called lazy, careless, or told you’re not living up to your potential
- You’re tired of the “ADHD is a superpower” narrative and want the real story
You shouldn’t read this if:
- You want a clinical manual (there are excellent ones already)
- You’re looking for quick fixes or life hacks (this isn’t that book)
- You’re uncomfortable with raw vulnerability (I hold nothing back)
- You’re expecting a purely positive narrative (grief is part of the journey)
The $64,000 Question
Would you want to read this?
Not “would you buy it to be polite” – but genuinely, is this something that would resonate with you?
I wrote it for me first. To process my own diagnosis. To make sense of 48 years of confusion.
But if it can help even one person feel less alone in this journey, then the three months of emotional excavation will have been worth it.
Drop me a message if you want to be notified when it launches. Or if you have questions. Or if you just want to tell me your own late-diagnosis story.
This book exists because I needed it to exist.
Now let’s see if you need it too.
Richard Forbes-Ritte
Founder, RJIT Coaching
Late-diagnosed at 48. Now almost 51 and still figuring it out daily.
P.S. – If you want to go deeper than the book, check out the RAISE Your Game Programme. That’s where we turn understanding into action.
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